Saturday, January 12, 2013

Top 10 Lance Armstrong Confessions about Golf

You might have seen the stories that disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong plans to confess to decades of cheating in an interview with Oprah Winfrey. (If that confession surprises you, you are a blinkered Armstrong fanboy.)

But cycling isn't the only area in which Armstrong has cheated. Oh, no sir. He's a huge golf buff and we've exclusively learned that, shockingly, Armstrong also plans to confess his golf sins to Oprah.

What will he confess about golf? Glad you asked.

Lance Armstrong's Top 10 Golf Confessions
10. Always used a non-conforming driver.
9. "Gained strokes" in the mountains, if you know what I mean.
8. Required all playing partners to inject themselves with Banana Boat sunscreen and Gatorade.
7. His gimme putts were not always inside the leather.
6. He only carried pencils with erasers.
5. When wishing opponents "good luck" on the first tee, he didn't really mean it.
4. His 2-Ball Putter only had one ball.
3. Always used PEDs - performance-enhancing dimples.
2. Foot wedges. Lots and lots of foot wedges.
1. All those years he said he wasn't cheating? He was lying.

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