Sunday, January 27, 2013

The Amy Mickelson-Michael Jordan Rumor

The Amy Mickelson-Michael Jordan affair rumor. You've heard it, right? It got started back in 2010, around the time Phil Mickelson was winning The Masters.

To this day, type "Amy Mickelson" into the Google search field and Google will try to autocomplete your query to "Amy Mickelson Michael Jordan" or "Amy Mickelson Michael Jordan rumor" or "Amy Mickelson Michael Jordan affair."

Amy is Phil's wife, of course. Michael Jordan is a good friend of Phil's main rival, Tiger Woods. I understand Mr. Jordan also played basketball, but can't really speak to that. I focus entirely on golf, you see. With a side business in unfounded, crazy rumors.

Put the Amy Mickelson-Michael Jordan affair rumor in the "you've got to be kidding" file. There's not a hint of a scintella of evidence - evidence! what a concept! - of any Amy Mickelson-Michael Jordan affair.

There's barely any evidence of an Amy Mickelson-Phil Mickelson affair. I mean, the only reason we know they have sex is that they have three kids. Otherwise, they're just too sweet and sunshiney to engage in such dirty behavior, right?

So write it off: There was no Amy Mickelson-Michael Jordan affair. Amy never fooled around with MJ. In fact, she never fooled around with a lot of guys. At least 10 others.

Top 10 Men Amy Mickelson Has Not Had an Affair With
10. Bill Clinton
9. Tim "Lumpy" Herron
8. Me
7. Butch Harmon
6. Director of the IRS
5. Charles Barkley
4. Lady GaGa
3. Earl Woods
2. John Daly
1. The kid working the counter at the In-n-Out

If you're a glutton for punishment of the digging-into-the-bowels-of-the-Internet variety, Deadspin traced the origins of the rumor to a post on a fantasy football message board in 2006. Just remember: None of it is true.

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