Sunday, January 27, 2013

Cruel Shoes: Paula Creamer, High-Heeled Pumps, and Pain Threshold

We already knew that Paula Creamer is one tough cookie - remember how much pain she was in with those thumb problems a few years ago? Yet she played through it for a year or more, and even won the U.S. Women's Open in her first tournament back after surgery.

But if you still needed any proof of Paula's toughness, well, just look at those heels she's wearing in the photo above. If her feet had been forced into that position without her permission, the forcer would be facing criminal charges.

And getta load of those high-heeled pumps in the pic to the right. Well, you can't see much of the actual shoes - but you can imagine their cruelty by looking at the angle of Paula's feet. Not even ballerinas walk around like that.

Pity poor Cristie Kerr, who probably, putting her own high-heeled black pumps on for this gala affair, thought to herself, "Oh yeah, these are gonna be the highest heels at the party!" She screamed upon standing, but darn it, it was gonna be worth it.

And then Paula showed up, crushing both Cristie's spirit, and her own toes.

I can picture Paula at the shoe store. The attendant, Carlo, says, "Well, that's it, that's every pair of shoes in place."

"Oh, you must have one more pair," Paula implored.

"No, not one more," Carlo replied. "Well, we do have .... THE CRUEL SHOES."

As you listen to the old Steve Martin "Cruel Shoes" bit above, just imagine "Paula" every time Martin says "Anna."

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