Golf Spelled Backwards*

Making It Easier for Drunk, Fat Guys on the Course

2011-12-28T16:11:00.000-08:00

Here's a video intro to something called "scan4beer":

scan4beer is a new business that is launching nationwide in February. Its goal: Make it easier for golfers to get beverages and snacks on the golf course by allowing golfers to summon the beer cart.

No more waiting patiently (or impatiently) for the beer cart to come back around; no more waiting until the turn to pick up your next brewski. No sirree: You want beer and you want it now.

With scan4beer, you swipe your cellphone over a barcode made available by the golf course on items such as ballwashers or inside of golf carts, and the cart girl receives your request to pay a visit. So she drives to your location to serve you.

That sounds kind of cool. And it also sounds like yet another way for golfers to get fat and lazy. And drunk. I'm only half-kidding. Many (perhaps most) golfers who use this service won't be buying beer, but will be buying water, a Coke, a Snickers bar, a bag of chips, a sandwich.

But are we really that lazy, that needy, that we can't wait for the beer girl to make her rounds, or even wait until the turn? Do we really need to demand food and drink right now, in the middle of a golf game?

Why not expand this throughout society? Hey, I'm at the grocery store, and looking at the food on the shelves is making me hungry. Cart girl, drive your vehicle to Aisle 3, please, and feed me! Or I'm in a business meeting and man, all those charts and graphs are boring. Beer girl, get your cute little booty in here and beer me!

Speaking of cute booties: One potential problem with scan4beer lies in ill-behaved drunk golfers misusing the service just to flirt with (or harrass) the cart girl.

Here's something I've always wondered about: Do they have beer carts or "cart girls" outside of the USA? I believe golf carts in general - the riding kind - are much-less used outside the U.S., so I assume beer carts are less common, as well. Comments?

Crouching Tiger Clears English Course

2011-12-26T09:02:00.000-08:00

This happened back in May, but it's one of my favorite stories of the year. Golfers and townsfolk in the Hamphsire town of Hedge End in England got a score when there were reports that an escaped white tiger was on the local golf course.

The golf course and surrounding areas were cleared; the local population was warned to stay inside.

Police arrived in droves, as did workers from the local zoo. The police were armed as if for safari; the zoo workers were carrying transquilizer darts. They set out in golf carts to search for the beast, while helicopters hovered overheard keeping watch for the maneating menace.

This is what they found:

A toy. A stuffed tiger.

The Daily Mail reported:

It was only when thermal-imaging cameras failed to register any heat from the target that officers became suspicious.

And when a blast of air from the helicopter blades flipped the ‘tiger’ on to its back, red-faced officers realised they had been stalking a life-size stuffed animal.

Headgear

2011-12-11T07:33:00.000-08:00

Paula Creamer posted this photo of herself wearing Pink Panther headgear on Twitter. She said a fan in Taiwan gave it to her. Quick, somebody knit a Pink Panther bikini and give it to Paula!

Halloween Costumes of LPGA Golfers

2011-11-01T13:41:00.001-07:00

And what did various LPGA players and other golf hotties dress up as for Halloween? Here are the photos:

That's Paula Creamer above, of course, looking buzzworthy.

Above: The oh-so-lovely Nicole Hage and Jenny Suh. Below, Nicole and Jenny are joined by Mrs. Mark Calcavecchia, who dressed up like Natalie Gulbis. Nice job! Even got the boobs right. (By the way: Also proof that disgusting shlubs can get hot women if they are rich enough.)

Mallory Blackwelder, Big Breaker, LPGA, LET player, above, is the "leg lamp" from Christmas Story.

Above, it's Big Breaker Elena Robles. And below, it's Brits Carly Booth (LET) and Kelly Tidy (Ladies Am champ).

Below, looking mighty hot (if a bit grainy), is Brittany Lincicome doing it NASCAR style:

And that's Blair O'Neal above, dressed as "Winter." A very hot winter. I'm experiencing global warming right now.

These photos were all posted by the golfers on their respective (public) Twitter pages.

The Tiger Woods Hot Dog Incident

2011-10-10T07:55:00.000-07:00

If you haven't heard by now, Tiger Woods was interrupted during the Frys.com Open by a man who ran onto the putting green and threw a hot dog at Woods. Yes, a hot dog - frankfurter inside a bun.

The most disturbing part of video above is the end, when a man carries off the offending frank. Tiger is not used to having his wiener handled that way. At least, not by a man.

Catfight! Kerr, Creamer (Allegedly) Hiss, Spit After Solheim Loss

2011-09-28T18:39:00.000-07:00

Golf pundits John Huggan and Steve Elling have a back-and-forth feature on CBSSports.com called Pond Scrum in which they, well, go back-and-forth on golf issues. And the Pond Scrum posted following the Solheim Cup includes this juicy allegation that Paula Creamer and Cristie Kerr had a big fight following the Americans' loss:

Huggan: I have no idea what went on in the locker room, but I do have it on good authority that Paula Creamer and Cristie Kerr had a bit of a ding-dong verbal joust late on Sunday night. Creamer apparently felt that the lovely Cristie could have made more of an effort to play her match on Sunday, sore wrist or not.

Huggan: Of course, the way Paula played on Sunday, Cristie could have beaten her playing one-handed considering how Scotland's Catriona Matthew finished Creamer off.

Elling: Gee, you mean Paula wasn't won over by the sling that Kerr had on her arm later Sunday? Was no full-body cast available? Kerr is a princess and has always been. Not especially surprised by her inability or unwillingness to play.

This is the only report of this I've seen; who knows if it's true. I certainly didn't see anything in Kerr's actions to call into doubt the severity of her injury. But Elling's cutting comments about Kerr represent a sort of old-school view of Kerr. She's cleaned up her reputation in recent years, but earlier in her career Kerr was viewed by almost everyone (including her peers) as a prickly, peevish prima donna. She was not popular with other players.

Recall that Kerr began her career as, well, a fattie. She later got hot. And Helen Alfredsson once said of Kerr, "She used to be a fat bitch, and now she's a skinny bitch."

Yowzah!

As recently as the 2007 Solheim Cup, Laura Davies described the American team as "11 nice girls and one ..." well, what Alfredsson said. And there was no doubt about whom Davies was speaking.

But, to reiterate, so far nobody has come forward to corroborate Huggan's report, so perhaps this Creamer-Kerr catfight is just Huggan's fantasy. (And if so, the fight probably happened in the shower.)

I agree with Huggan and Elling 100-percent in this exchange, however:

Elling: Related to Kerr, I'm surprised more Americans were not injured. Creamer had so many flags, ribbons, bows, facepaint and scarves on her head, she could have needed a neck brace. Oh, and let's not forget the sunglasses ti filterout the blinding Dublin glare. Yeah, we get it -- you play for the American team. Geez. She looked like a South Carolina fireworks store on July 4.

Huggan: Yeah, the face-painting and ribbons is just so lame. Throw in the narcissist that is Christina Kim and the whole thing looks more like playtime at kindergarten than it does a serious golf contest. The only thing missing is a swing-set and maybe a water slide.

Wozzilroy?

2011-09-27T08:53:00.000-07:00

Here is a photo Caroline Wozniacki posted on Twitter, with the tweet, "Here is my new club @McilroyRory made for me."

Awwwww, ain't that sweet! I wonder if Caroline uses a racket stringer to tie Rory down during their bondage games.

But, c'mon, Wozzilroy? That doesn't have much of a nice ring to it.

A Freak With A Wedge

2011-09-13T13:42:00.001-07:00

Here's the latest Tiffany Joh video. Who can ID the rumpshakas?

She Beats It: Tiffany Joh's Tribute to Suzann Pettersen

2011-09-02T08:08:00.001-07:00

Tiffany Joh is an LPGA rookie, and she's one of the funniest people in golf. She has a slew of videos on YouTube, many of them featuring her songwriting talent, and her singing "talent." In this, to the tune of Michael Jackson's Beat It, Joh pays tribute to Suzann Pettersen: "She's built like a sedan and hits it like a man."

That's What She Said

2011-09-01T16:43:00.001-07:00

The Other Current Golf-Tennis Coupling

2011-09-01T07:36:00.000-07:00

OK, everyone knows about the most famous golf-tennis coupling since Greg Norman and Chris Evert hooked up a few years ago. Rory McIlroy and Caroline Wozniacki, of course. How could we not know about them? They keep making everybody sick with their public displays of smoochy-face. C'mon guys, get a room.

But there's another current mixed-doubles couple: Spanish tennis player Robert Farah and Spanish golfer Belen Mozo. Perhaps Robert and Belen could double-date with Rory and Caroline.

My money is on the Farah-Mozo couple to far outlast the McIlroy-Wozniacki couple. Although the coupling I'd most like to see out of this is Mozo-Wozniacki. Awwwww yeahhhhhhh.

What a Tangled Web Wie Weaves

2011-08-02T07:14:00.000-07:00

Michelle Wie drew this during the night, and posted it on Twitter:

Armchair psychologists can have a field day with this, but I say, unless there's a putter in the picture let's just take it a face value: An imaginative young adult had insomnia, couldn't sleep, and cooked up something a little oddball.

On Twitter, Jessica Korda put it best: "wow, thats creepy yet super cool at the same time... :)"

You Say It's Your Birthday

2011-07-30T08:55:00.001-07:00

Well happy birthday to you, Graeme McDowell. Have some cake!

Look at the size of that thing! (The cake, not Graeme.) Is McDowell going to eat the cake, or is the cake going to eat him? He appears wary ...

This birthday cake was presented to G-Mac following the third round of the 2011 Irish Open. Too bad Darren Clarke missed the cut, or we might have gotten a photo of McDowell's face being pushed into that cake.

The Hottest Golfer You've Never Heard Of (Until Now)

2011-07-21T13:41:00.001-07:00

Sharmila Nicollet is a young Indian golfer playing the Evian Masters on a sponsor exemption. Here are a couple pics from the first round:

I wish I could take credit for discovering this hottie, but, as usual, it was actually Golf Babes that first posted about her. You can read Golf Babes' posts about her if you want to know details about her golf; here at GSB*, we're only concerned with Sharmila's hotness. Of which there is plenty. Visual evidence:

She's also pretty darn witty. How do I know? Because I've seen her Twitter feed. A few samples of things Sharmila has posted on Twitter:

"Women, if want to breast feed in public, you'd better bring enough candy for the rest of the class."

"If your girlfriend claims to never look at your Facebook profile, change your relationship status to 'single' and wait 5 minutes."

"If you're going to protect your Twitter account, why bother? Just talk to yourself in the shower."

"Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession."

"Yahoo! Answers leaves me with nothing but questions about the future of humanity."

"Happy Birthday Vin Diesel and Nelson Mandela! The fact that you share a birthday pretty much disproves astrology."

It's a shame how MTV went from "My Super Sweet 16" to "16 and Pregnant" . What's next? "World's Youngest Grandmothers?"

And as Indian chicks go, she has a great butt. Hey, Sharmila, sned us a pic for Booty Patrol!

Lara Cornell, Tom Lewis' Girlfriend

2011-07-15T07:15:00.000-07:00

Amateur Tom Lewis' girlfriend, Lara Cornell, was out following him at the 2011 British Open. Lewis was the surprise first-round co-leader. And while Lewis is still an amateur at golf, he's obviously a pro at landing hotties.

Richard Gillot Swing Imitations

2011-07-12T15:20:00.000-07:00

Richard Gillot ... where do I know that name? Right - he was on a season of The Big Break. The one at Carnoustie, the USA vs. Europe one. Gillot no longer plays as a touring pro, now he's a teacher. And he's apparently a popular teacher at clinics because of his swing imitations. A couple of his efforts are on YouTube:

Richard Gillot imitating Colin Montgomerie:

Miguel Angel Jimenez:

Thomas Levet (yeah, like anyone outside of France knows what Thomas Levet's swing looks like):

Planking on the Tee Box

2011-07-11T10:07:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what to make of this planking fad. Seems pretty pointless to me, but, hey, whatever floats your boat. Or maybe that should be: Whatever stiffens your board.

The Big Break alum Maiya Tanaka - who, by the way, is smokin' hot - tweeted this a couple days ago:

And what did we see when we clicked the pic link? As she said, Maiya's first planking:

Pretty impressive, actually. And how much do you want to bet those four dudes were tenting their shorts after a hot girl gave them permission to touch her?

"Planking," indeed!

Belly Button Brigade: Mika Miyazato

2011-07-07T17:49:00.000-07:00

Mika Miyazato is a very underrated LPGA cutie. And her belly button appears lint-free.

Golf Girls Video: More Jade Schaeffer Please

2011-06-27T12:15:00.000-07:00

You know that "golf boys" video that Ben Crane, Rickie Fowler, Hunter Mahan and Bubba Watson did? Music video parody in which they "rapped" about hitting the ball fall and generally acted like fools, all to terrible music and lyrics?

Now four golfers from the Ladies European Tour have done it, too. And this one would be just as bad (maybe even worse, if that's possible) except for one thing: Jade Schaeffer in overalls and pigtails. Yummy.

Schaeffer is a French golfer. She's a hot French golfer. More Jade, less everyone else please.

Holly Sweeney, Rory McIlroy's Girlfriend

2011-06-20T06:13:00.001-07:00

Holly Sweeney and Rory McIlroy have been girlfriend-boyfriend for as long as McIlroy has been in the public eye. But is Holly Sweeney still Rory McIlroy's main boo today? They split up earlier in 2011, although McIlroy later said they still talk every day.

But apparently, Holly and Rory are back together. Recently, Holly has tweeted pics of Rory's trophies. And after he won the 2011 US Open, Holly tweeted:

"My fabulous boyfriend has played flawlessly all week! Drink up northern ireland he’s done us proud! Here’s to the sick days tomorrow WOOOOO."

Yep, when Holly refers to Rory as "my boyfriend," she's giving it away. And good for Rory and Holly. They are childhood sweethearts, after all. I hope those crazy kids make it!

Here's video of Holly Sweeney from before she cut and dyed her hair:

She's pretty hot with both looks, and her earlier look and current look couldn't be more different. Holly Sweeney's current look is sleek, elegant, sophisticated and hot. Her previous look was jailbait. She's just plain hot.

The Golf Ironman in Action

2011-06-14T09:22:00.000-07:00

This is a clip of "golf ironman" Bob Kurtz playing one hole of golf during his recent recordsetting, weeklong golf marathon. You might have heard about it: Kurtz played 1,850 holes of golf in one week, setting a new world record. And he's 70 years old.

Now, to play 1,850 rounds of golf in a week, you have to play around 15 rounds per day for seven days. That means each round needs to be about 45 minutes long. Eighteen holes in 45 minutes.

Sounds crazy. Kurtz must have been scurrying around like a Tasmanian devil, right? Watch the video. What's amazing is how unhurried he looks. He uses a rangefinder. He briefly marked his ball before the first putt. He pars the hole in 3 minutes, 11 seconds (which is actually a bit slow by his standards), and doesn't appear pressed at any point except right near the end when he runs as he holes out and heads back to the cart.

Rickie Fowler's Red Bull Hole in One

2011-06-13T18:33:00.000-07:00

That's Rickie Fowler making a hole-in-one in a place you wouldn't expect it to happen: On a street in Georgetown (Washington, D.C.), over an overpass, between buildings, onto a manmade, temporary "island" green.

It was an event staged by Red Bull. The shot was 106 yards, and according to Red Bull there was no siteline - it was blind all the way.

Kaymer Waits for Girlfriend, Holding Her Bag

2011-06-03T05:05:00.000-07:00

Martin Kaymer is a caddie again. Talk about henpecked.

Kaymer showed up in Denver this week and caddied for his girlfriend, Allison Micheletti, in the second round of the Colorado Women's Open. "I love to be on the golf course anyways," Kaymer told the Denver Post about the round. "Sometimes it's nice if I don't have to play and just walk. It's nice with the mountains around here."

Yeah, sure, if by "mountains" he meant his girlfriend's lady lumps. I mean, have you seen Allison Micheletti? Martin has! And he'll hold her bag and wait anytime she asks him to.

Speaking of seeing Allison, here are some pics.

Kaymer has caddied for Micheletti before. Here they are at 2010 LET Q-School:

Jan Stephenson Dances Off Into the Sunset

2011-05-25T08:06:00.001-07:00

Aussie golf legend-in-her-own-mind and former pinup girl Jan Stephenson has been bounced off Australia's Dancing With the Stars. It's not hard to understand why watching her dance (sorry Jan). Although her first routine does involve two of my favorite things: golf clubs and cleavage.

She was eliminated after "dancing" the samba:

Speaking of Golf Hotties ...

2011-05-16T17:12:00.000-07:00

Here's a pic of Blair O'Neal she posted on Twitter. Yowza. If only ever female pro looked that good. And played her tournament rounds in that outfit.

Caption This: Justin Rose Gets Weird

2011-05-16T08:18:00.000-07:00

Uh ... um ... er ...

That's Justin Rose. This pic was posted on Twitter by Golf Channel's Justin Sobel, who wrote, "This is what @JustinRose99 likes to do in his free time. He's really into spandex and velcro."

Write your own caption in comments.

Suzanne Stonebarger, Ricky Barnes' Wife

2011-04-24T14:31:00.000-07:00

PGA Tour player Ricky Barnes got married not too long ago to Suzanne Stonebarger, a professional beach volleyball player. And beach volleyball players tend toward the hot.

Suzanne Stonebarger's teammate is Michelle More, and together they are known as "Team Gorgeous."

Here's something you can't say about every PGA Tour wife (and that's a shame): Ricky Barnes' wife has posed for Playboy. Suzanne Stonebarger and her teammate Michelle More posed together in an issue that showed off multiple AVP volleyball players. One of those images is below the fold.

Boo! Ian Poulter Sees a Ghost

2011-04-24T13:48:00.001-07:00

What? Ian Poulter saw a ghost? So that explains his hair ... As Shaggy would say, Zoiks!

Poulter tweeted a series of updates beginning on the Saturday of The Heritage in Hilton Head, about the alleged ghost at his family's rental home:

Check this out, we have a ghost in our house this week & I'm not joking we have had some very strange goings on every night.
We have a dead bolted door in the house & every morning that door is unlocked & slightly open. It's happened 7 times already.
No joke for real, very bizarre the door is pretty solid with a dead bolt & number of times it's been unlocked & open. Calling home owner now
@Graeme_McDowell I might join you mate we have a ghost in our house and it's given a strange feel in this house.
I should ask @golfchannel or CBS if I can borrow a camera & set it up on that door for the night. My camera won't video for that long.
@PGA_JohnDaly hi mate can you come scare our ghost away please.

Lousy instincts in seeking help from Daly, though: Daly hasn't exorcised in years. (Thank you, I'll be here all week.)

Caption This: Paddy, Sergio and a Panda

2011-04-22T06:20:00.001-07:00

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write your own caption for this ~~sweet~~ ~~innocent~~ ~~cute~~ ridiculous photo. (Just keep it clean, please.) Padraig Harrington, Sergio Garcia and a baby panda bear. Are those Snuggies that Sergio and Padraig are wearing? Did they meet in a "bears for bears" chat room? What the dealio?

Golfer Snakebitten - Literally

2011-04-01T06:05:00.000-07:00

Melissa Reid, previously featured on GSB* in the compellingly headlined post, "Hey, Melissa Reid, your panties are showing," got a lot of attention in Round 1 of the Kraft Nabisco Championship. She was atop the leaderboard about halfway through her first round. Alas, she wilted in the afternoon heat. You might say she was ... snakebitten.

Back in October of last year, Reid was literally snakebitten at a tournament in China. It happened at the Sanya Ladies Open. She told The Sun of London:

"It happened just after I hit my second shot to the right of the 16th hole. I was going through a boggy patch of ground, and I felt something sharp on my leg, like a scratch.

"I was like, 'what was that?' and I started running. My caddie, Lee, was like, 'Reidy: run faster, it's after you again!'

"The head greenkeeper came over and said he'd spoken to one of his assistants, who was a snake expert.

"And he said it was venomous, but not one of the deadly ones."

Reid, quite the trooper, swallowed 20 tablets of some kind of medicine (in China, who knows) and got a shot of antivenon. And then continued her round! And even improved her score in that round by 10 strokes over her previous round.

Here's a little primer on snakebite first aid*:

(*Actually, "suck out the poison" is terrible first aid. Never take first aid advice from Woody Allen movies or golf blogs.)

Player Videos from Augusta Practice Rounds

2011-03-29T07:35:00.000-07:00

A few Euros carpooled to Augusta National Golf Club for some prep work before The Masters, and Ian Poulter and Graeme McDowell have been posting video via Twitter.

Driving Magnolia Lane:

Walking up the stairs, through the lockerroom, onto the balcony:

The view from that balcony:

Update: Masters officials apparently weren't happy about the boys posting these vids. CBSSports.com's Steve Elling tweeted a comment from a Masters spokesman in which the spokesman said players are asked to leave their cellphones at home.

Who Farted: Tiger Woods or Steve Williams?

2011-03-16T07:34:00.000-07:00

So who's the smeller and who's the feller? Someone - by appearances, Tiger Woods or his caddie Steve Williams - farted while Graeme McDowell was on the tee during the 2011 Tavistock Cup. But was it Tiger or Stevie? They both act guilty. You be the judge. And just be thankful that smell-o-vision hasn't yet come to Internet video.

Booty Patrol: Alli Mackenzie, Will Mackenzie's Wife

2011-03-03T15:47:00.001-08:00

Before she was Alli Mackenzie, wife of PGA Tour player Will Mackenzie, she was Alli Spencer, FHM model. With a fine derriere that, judging from these pics, she enjoyed showing off. Will, her boyfriend at the time these pics were taken, appears in some of the FHM photos with her. But don't let that stop you from checking out the full gallery.

Carling Coffing Stand-up Routine

2011-03-01T08:43:00.000-08:00

Big Break champion Carling Coffing tries her hand at doing a golf stand-up comedy routine in this self-shot video she posted on Twitter.

Not too sure about some of the jokes ... but we applaud the effort. And that spaghetti-strap top she's wearing.

Booty Patrol: Chie Arimura

2011-02-26T06:08:00.000-08:00

Chie Arimura is a young Japanese golfer who ... oh ... who plays on the, um, Japan LPGA and ... look at that ... um ... she sometimes plays on the ... uh ... what was I saying ... um ...

Shark in the Lake? Now That's a Water Hazard

2011-02-18T16:01:00.001-08:00

I've been to golf courses where alligators were present in water hazards. I imagine there are lots of courses were larger crocodiles lurk. But I've never heard of a course that has sharks in its water hazards. Sharks! Until now.

Carbrook Golf Club in Brisbane, Australia, has at least one (probably more) sharks in its many ponds, lakes and waterways. They've been caught on camera:

They've been there since the "early '90s," according to the golf course's Web site, when "the Logan River burst its banks, resulting in large volumes of water covering the course for an extended period of time." The floodwaters eventually went away, but at least one shark (probably more) didn't.

The Logan is a large river that flows into Moreton Bay (beyond which is the Coral Sea). It seems incredible to me that a shark as large as the one in the videos above could survive in a golf course lake without having frequent access to the river itself. But maybe that's why I've never been asked to host Shark Week.

Sophie Gustafson Eats a Grasshopper

2011-02-18T06:32:00.000-08:00

There's no trick to that headline. Sophie Gustafson eats a grasshopper:

She did so while in Thailand for the LPGA season-opener. Gustafson was at one of the countries famous "floating markets." She tweeted that "grashopper wasn't too bad when chased down with beer." She doesn't look all that happy as she chews, though, does she?

Big Booty Chicks

2011-02-01T15:08:00.000-08:00

"Big booty chicks" is what golfer Rachel Conner - she's on the right - called this pic when she posted it to Twitter (@ChillGolf). No idea who the big booty chick on the left is, but I like big butts, I cannot lie.

We've featured Rachel "Chill" Connor on GSB* before: click here.

Keep tweeting those pics, Chill, GSB* loves ya!

There Is One Area Tiger Always Gives 100-Percent

2011-02-01T11:38:00.001-08:00

So Tiger Woods' fourth-round partner at the Farmers Insurance Open, PGA Tour rookie Brendan Steele, said Tiger mailed it in on Sunday:

"I don't think he gave it everything today," Steele told SI. "Once it started going in the wrong direction, I don't think it had his full attention."

That is one accusation Tiger's ho's never made against him. Say what you want about Tiger, but when it comes ot ho's, he always gives 100 percent. Whether he's playing their front nine or back nine.

(On the other hand, Tiger gave far less than 100-percent to Elin Nordegren. Perhaps Elin feels a twinge of revenge today when she was named one of the 99 most desirable women of 2011?)

Win McMurry Wants to Shag Rory McIlroy

2011-01-29T08:05:00.000-08:00

From Win McMurry's Twitter feed:

Uh ... ummm ... Win, are you sure that "shag" means the same thing to you as it means to Rory? I assume you were talking about the dance and not, well, shagging. But either way - can I cut in? (With you, not with Rory.)

Wouldn't it be great if the Golf Channel replaced every one its announcers with a clone of Win McMurry? She's delicious! Make that, shagadelic, baby!

Suzanne Rogers Haney - a k a, Mrs. Hank Haney

2011-01-14T16:44:00.001-08:00

A couple more pics of Hank Haney's wife, Suzanne Rogers Haney. With the new season of The Haney Project under way, lots of people looking for her pics. These two bulk up our earlier post about Suzanne here.

Personally, the Haney project I'm most interested in is the one that explains how Hank landed such a hot wife.

Inappropriate

2011-01-11T07:29:00.000-08:00

Why is everyone talking about Brittany Lincicome's hooters? C'mon people, that's not appropriate.

Wham! Ryan Palmer and Ben Crane Sing and Dance

2011-01-05T08:35:00.000-08:00

Here's a video originally posted to TwitVid by Ian Poulter. Ben Crane and Ryan Palmer will want to thank him. Or club him over the head.

Crane and Poulter sing (if it can be called that) and dance (if it can be called that) to Wham's Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go at a karaoke bar somewhere in Hawaii.

The combination of smartphone video capability and social media is truly a dangerous thing.

Did You Know This About Tiger?

2010-12-29T07:57:00.001-08:00

Tiger Woods' website, tigerwoods.com, has a "Did You Know" page that I stumbled across today. For example:

Perfect day
Did you know Tiger's perfect day is to surf, ski, play golf and go spear-fishing in the same day?

How trite.

Biggest challenge
Did you know that Tiger's biggest challenge is to become a better person tomorrow?

C'mon Tiger, stop procrastinating and become a better person today!

Retreat
Did you know that Tiger's retreat is to go underwater shooting fish?

I'm not even sure what joke to make about that one.

Indulgence
Did you know that Tiger's indulgence is to spend his time on his boat?

Hmmm. I thought Tiger's indulgence was skanks.

BubbaClaus Does the Worm

2010-12-12T06:26:00.000-08:00

Twitter is absolutely useless 99.99-percent of the time. But for making something like this possible, I suppose it's worthwhile after all.

Bubba Watson, dressed in a Santa outfit, sinks a long putt and does the Worm.

Long live BubbaClaus.

Allison Micheletti: Martin Kaymer's Girlfriend

2010-11-30T07:56:00.000-08:00

Enjoy a few pics of Martin Kaymer's girlfriend, Allison Micheletti:

I think Allison Micheletti will definitely be in the running for title of "hottest PGA Tour wife" if she ever does become Kaymer's wife (and if Kaymer ever joins the PGA Tour!). She's in the news currently trying to qualify to play on the Ladies European Tour, but, alas, she's not going to make it.

Johnny Miller Is Very Impressed By Johnny Miller

2010-11-15T16:08:00.000-08:00

Johnny Miller is one of God's great gifts to humanity. Don't believe me? Well, then maybe you'll believe a certain expert on Johnny Miller named Johnny Miller! The December 2010 issue of Golf Digest contains a (very interesting) 4-page article about Miller. And in that article, Miller makes it clear how impressed he is with himself. Not that there was ever any doubt about that, of course.

Within that one, 4-page article, all of the following quotes appear, from Miller about Miller. Enjoy (and remember - I am not making up any of these; they are all real):

"Sometimes I wonder how the world would be if there were a million Johnny Millers. I guess some would disagree, but I think it would be a better place." (Sometimes I wonder what the world be like if there were a million Johnny Millers each telling us all the time how good they were.)

"I'm sure I'll be like Jones was at Augusta and Jack at Muirfield Village and Arnold at Bay Hill. One of the common traits of great players is that everything has to be perfectly organized."

"... if you look at my career when I was on, Nicklaus even said that's the guy he wasn't sure he could beat."

"As far as hitting irons close to the hole, you'd have to say Byron Nelson, and then you'd have to give me a look."

"Sometimes when I just knew it was going to be stiff, I would raise my arm straight up while the ball was still in the air, kind of like a Babe Ruth thing." (If it's stiff for more than four hours, call a doctor.)

"Bottom line - maybe not in a major - I know that if I played my best and Nicklaus played his best and Tiger played his best, I definitely could have hung with them."

"I've played and seen a lot of great golf - I believe the era of my prime in the '70s was the greatest era of the game."

"I'm sort of like Simon Cowell: When I say it's a great shot, it must be a great shot."

"I've had this dream, maybe three times, where I'm working with Tiger and trying to teach him what I know about the game."

"I just wasn't willing to not be a good father."

"Tiger and I are the most similar in background of any of the great golfers."

"When I was about 8, I had this feeling come over me, like, 'You don't have to worry, you're going to be a champion golfer.' And it never wavered. It was a march to whoever I was going to be." (When I was about 8, I finally stopped eating paste.)

"I'm like a pro-level fisherman. I mean, I can catch fish with anybody." (Other things Johnny is pro-level at: origami, clogging, hair braiding, ice sculpture, watermelon-seed spitting and self-awareness.)

"If I'd had good putting, even with no practice, and not being that dedicated, I probably would have won 50 tournaments." (And if I could actually write, and wasn't the laziest person I know, I'd be working for Golf Digest!)

"The funny thing was that when I had the lead before the final round, I won three-quarters of the time, which was basically the highest percentage of anyone until Tiger."

"I did a lot with crappy putter and not liking competition. Go figure. I guess talent was my best weapon." (No, I'd say ego is your best weapon.)

Now, I have to be fair to Miller. I know, I know, being fair to Miller isn't any fun. But - full disclosure - I like Johnny Miller. And I agree with him about how good he was (if only for a brief period of time).

But to be fair: The article is actually about how someone with Miller's talent could lose his game so quickly and never fully recover it; and how someone with Miller's talent could fail to win more than two majors.

And Miller admits it: He couldn't handle the pressure. Johnny Miller, the man who introduced the word "choking" to golf telecasts, labels himself a choker. That's why the quote up above about hanging with Nicklaus and Tiger includes the caveat "maybe not in a major."

Johnny Miller the broadcaster would have called out Johnny Miller the player on national TV. Which is something that even a million Johnny Millers can appreciate. Especially given how much all those Johnny Millers enjoy talking about themselves.

Get Out of My Head, Golf Digest!

2010-11-15T12:18:00.000-08:00

Damn you Golf Digest, how do you know what I dream about? Get out of my head!

(Paula Creamer pics by Erin Patrice O'Brien for Golf Digest)

That's a Hot Trophy

2010-11-14T17:35:00.000-08:00

And that big blue jug she's holding is pretty impressive, too.

(Plus, hottie In-Kyung Kim does things like this. I would carry her child. Or at least her golf bag.)

Me and Tiger are Just Alike

2010-11-09T12:10:00.000-08:00

Twitter is a treasure trove today. Doug Ferguson, the Associated Press golf beat writer, tweeted this:

Tremendous exchange last night by Shane Warne, who says to Tiger: "I think we might have a lot in common. I love golf, too."

I'll guess that Shane Warne is an Australian television personality, because Woods is Down Under for the Australian Masters. But Shane's statement made me realize that, hey, I'm just like Tiger!

And if I ever meet him, I'll say to Tiger, "I think we might have a lot in common. I love whores, too."

Google Maps Is Trying to Kill Us

2010-11-09T11:31:00.001-08:00

Today on Twitter, LPGA Tour player Sophie Gustafson gave us these instructions:

1. Go to Google Maps 2. Click Get Directions 3. Type Japan as starting point 4. Type China as ending point 5. Go to # 43 on the directions

OK, that's simple enough even for me to follow. So I did what Sophie told me to do. And got this:

That's a little hard to read, isn't it? OK, let's zoom in on #43 in the directions:

Good lord! "Jet ski across the Pacific Ocean?" Google Maps is trying to kill us! Thank you, Sophie, for exposing this evil plot!

Haeji Kang Doesn't Need Your &!$#&! Bodily Functions

2010-10-30T14:07:00.001-07:00

The LPGA Tour's weekly "Quick 18" Q&A was with Haeji Kang this week. It included this exchange:

6. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Farting, burping and swearing

Note to self: Dream of marrying Haeji Kang now officially dead.

Crazed Ian Poulter Joins Japanese Dolphin Slaughter at The Cove

2010-10-29T14:56:00.001-07:00

No, wait, this photo was actually taken at Discovery Cove Orlando. My bad.

Poulter posted the pic on Twitter. That dolphin is just lucky it's not now dressed in Poulter Tartan.

By Cracky, LPGA Players Get High on Flight to Malaysia!

2010-10-22T12:12:00.000-07:00

You know how when you get on an airplane, the pilot comes on as you're taxiing down the runway and says, "And please do not light your crack pipe until the light above your seat goes off"? Well, I just hope that Karen Stupples of the LPGA waited until that little light went off!

Because after landing in Malaysia for the Sime Darby LPGA Malaysia tournament, here's what Stupples tweeted:

I am shocked. Because I would have guessed heroin to be the drug of choice for all trips to Southeast Asia.

But that's not the only crazy thing Stupples has done lately. Try this tweet on for size:

Good lord, this Stupples chick is a maniac!

(P.S. Here's what Stupples really meant by "crack.")

Natalie Gulbis Boobs

2010-10-21T08:02:00.000-07:00

Can you say "boobies"? Natalie Gulbis can. Maybe she should change her name to Natalie Bulbous. (And how's that for a headline?)

Not that I'm complaining, of course. I appreciate Natalie's efforts to bring sexy back. The LPGA needs eyeballs, and everyone (every male, anyway) eyes boobs.

But how does she do it? Look at any of Gulbis' bikini pics and you'll notice they aren't that big. Wonderbra, do your stuff! The photos are from the Sime Darby LPGA Malaysia, where it is very hot. Lots of sweat might be helping that top get extra clingy. Am I putting too much thought into this?

Justin Bieber Just Got Pwn'd

2010-10-19T13:49:00.001-07:00

At his press conference on Tuesday at the Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospitals for Children tournament, Justin Timberlake talked about how Rickie Fowler should bring out the girls:

You know, that should get some young girls out here, shouldn't it? Right? Rickie Fowler is like -- I don't know, I think he's cooler than Justin Bieber. Did I throw the gauntlet down? Oh, whatever. I'm taking Rickie Fowler.

Rickie is cooler than Justin Bieber! You go, J-Timbalake! But is he right?

Let's compare:

Above is Rickie Fowler. Below is Justin Bieber (with Usher, who should be careful about being photographed liked this).

Case closed. Rickie Fowler looks cool. Justin Bieber looks like Hilary Swank's little sister.

Justin Timberlake speaks the truth.

What If Phil Mickelson Was a Woman?

2010-10-14T10:56:00.001-07:00

Oh my god! OH MY GOD! Why would you even bring something like that up? Why, why, why!

Because Jay Busbee made me do it. Jay, of Yahoo's Devil Ball golf blog, was writing about the transgender woman who sued the LPGA. And he wrote this:

Put another way, if, say, Phil Mickelson suddenly underwent gender-reassignment surgery, Philomena Mickelson wouldn't suddenly lose her short-game ability.

Another thing Phil/Philomena wouldn't lose: His/her boobs. For the first time ever, Phil's man boobs would seem appropriate. Except they'd go from being too large man boobs to being too small woman boobs.

And remember: If you have nightmares now, don't blame me - blame Jay.

Joe Ogilvie's Tesla

2010-10-13T07:40:00.001-07:00

Brax Faxon posted this image on Twitter, with the comment, "Joe Ogilvie's Tesla he is driving this week at Fry's.com! So cool. 100 percent electric"

With that color car, perhaps Joe should change his name to "O'Gilvie." Hope he got the recall issue fixed in that bad boy.

How much does one of these cost? Around $100,000. Sign me up!

Paula Creamer on 'Price is Right"

2010-10-12T14:17:00.000-07:00

Does it sound like Drew Carey mispronounces Paula Creamer's name during her appearance on "Price is Right"? Sounds to me like he said "Kramer."

Never thought Paula's booty would be overshadowed on this show, but check out the butt on the pants-wearing model to the left. Aw, yeah. Sorry Paula, you're Booty No. 2 on that stage.

Naked Camilo Villegas in ESPN Body Issue

2010-10-05T05:47:00.001-07:00

CNBC sports bidness reporter Darren Rovell posted this pic on Twitter:

Aaaaaaaieeeee! It's a naked Camilo Villegas! Is that his foot holding him up off the ground, or is he just happy to see me?

Camilo posed for the 2010 ESPN Body issue (ESPN the Magazine), in which well-sculpted athletes show off their physiques sans clothing (take that, SI swimsuit issue!).

And the above image is one of the possible covers. Camilo Villegas naked. Many female fans' dreams have come true. Many male fans have turned away in horror.

Tiger and Phil DOMINATE as Teammates

2010-10-05T05:19:00.001-07:00

Alas, they dominate as teammates not in golf, but in ping pong. Here's a photo Rory McIlroy posted on Twitter with the caption "Tiger and phil beating everyone at table tennis last night!"

Phil's the pudgy one.

Wild Nights of Pro Golfers

2010-10-05T05:08:00.001-07:00

How wild and crazy are the sexy young women of golf? Here's one piece of evidence:

That's Rachel "Chill" Connor, a 20-year-old Englishwoman who played on the Duramed Futures Tour in 2010. Hey, Rachel, can I come to your next party?

See Rachel's Twitter feed, or her Web site. Or see Rachel:

Ian Poulter's "Poultervision" Video for Oakley

2010-10-05T04:55:00.000-07:00

Ian Poulter strapped a video camera to his head (or somewhere) and shot this point-of-view video for his sponsor, Oakley. Remind anyone else of the old Late Night with David Letterman monkeycam?

Boom Baby! Jeff Overton Ryder Cup Reaction

2010-10-03T08:15:00.000-07:00

Jeff Overton goes a little nuts after holing out from the fairway at the 2010 Ryder Cup. Boom baby!

Ryder Cup WAGs: Team Europe Wives and Girlfriends

2010-09-29T11:58:00.001-07:00

Oh, those Ryder Cup Gala Dinners: Tailor-made for watching the WAGs. In Post No. 1, here are some of the Team Europe wives and girlfriends, Ryder Cup WAGs 2010.

Laurae Westwood and hubby Lee:

Holly Sweeney, the main squeeze of Rory McIlroy:

Gaynor Montgomerie and hubby Colin (more of Gaynor here):

Diane Donald and hubby Luke:

Caroline Harrington and hubby Padraig:

And not that we're saving the best for last or anything, but behold Allison Micheletti, the significant other of Martin Kaymer:

Separated at Birth: Ryder Cup Captains

2010-09-26T07:11:00.001-07:00

Corey Pavin and John Oates

Colin Montgomerie and Michael Rapaport

Colin's photo is so grainy, and he looks so young, because this pic is from his college playing days at Houston Baptist University. It's hard to imagine Monty going to college in Houston, isn't it? Seems like he should have melted.

So far, nobody has addressed the most import question of this 2010 Ryder Cup. Who would win in fight: Corey Pavin's 1970s porno mustache, or Colin Montgomerie's faux white-boy 'fro? I'm going with the 'stache.

Caption This: Blonde Sandwich

2010-09-19T13:31:00.001-07:00

That's Spain's Jose Manuel Lara getting congratulator air kisses from the lovely hostesses of the European Tour's Austrian Open, which Lara won in a playoff. He appears a little sheepish, doesn't he?

Write your captions in comments.

Michelle Wie Kia Soul Commercial

2010-09-11T13:45:00.000-07:00

Mmmmm, Michelle looks good.

Lisa Pavin Pics - Corey Pavin's Wife, a k a, the Captainess

2010-09-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

It's too bad Colin Montgomerie had to go and ruin his marriage. His wife is a MILF. So is Corey Pavin's. If they needed a tiebreaker at the 2010 Ryder Cup, they could have asked the captains' wives to do a pose-off.

Lisa Pavin is Corey Pavin's win. And she's much better looking than Corey. Below are some pics. Check out the big feature in Avid Golfer Magazine about Lisa. Lisa's even milfier than Gaynor Montgomerie.

Alien Life Forms in the Ryder Cup

2010-09-02T06:04:00.001-07:00

Much has been made of the selection of Italy's Molinari brothers to play in the 2010 Ryder Cup. Two brothers will partner one another in the Ryder Cup. But that's not nearly as impressive as the fact that Alf Padgham and Alf Perry partnered one another in Ryder Cup play for Great Britain. Two guys named Alf.

Which makes them the only extraterrestrials to play Ryder Cup.

Unless you count this guy:

Calendar Girl Paula Creamer

2010-09-01T14:57:00.001-07:00

Paula Creamer posted this pic on Twitter. It shows the September photo from her Japanese calendar. And it prompted Brittany Lincicome to tweet back, "WOW sexy mama!" We agree!

Alas, Paula's calendar is only sold in Japan. But you can click this link to see other images collected by the invaluable Golf Babes.

Back on the Market

2010-08-23T12:37:00.000-07:00

The divorce is final.

So, Elin, if you're not busy tonight, what say you and me head over to Ikea, then home for a little, ahem, "lingonberry jam," if you know what I mean.

Worse Than Barkley?

2010-08-21T06:43:00.001-07:00

Somewhere, Charles Barkley is saying, "thank you, Tyreke!"

As in Tyreke Evans of the NBA, who might now have the worst celebrity golf swing:

I'm suspicious. How can someone so athletic look so pathetic? Is this just a put-on? Surely he - or anyone - could do better than that. Right? Yes? No?

Here's Barkley on the range (which means this swing isn't quite as bad as the hitch swing we'd see from Charles on the course):

Sometimes You Want the Whole Enchilada

2010-08-08T14:48:00.000-07:00

An exchange on Twitter today between LPGA players Paula Creamer and Karen Stupples began with Creamer tweeting about making dinner:

Then Stupples put Creamer's task in perspective:

Jiyai Shin Sings Gospel

2010-07-25T12:53:00.000-07:00

A YouTube clip (hat tip: Golf Girl) featuring Jiyai Shin's recording of a gospel song. In Korean, natch. My wife (yes, someone agreed to marry me) heard it and said it sounded a bit like Alison Krauss. But my wife has a drinking problem (which explains the agreed-to-marry part).

How does Jiyai sound? Pretty good. Let he who is without Shin cast the first stone.

Booty Patrol: Paula Creamer at Evian

2010-07-25T09:53:00.001-07:00

Ostensibly, the photographer was zooming in on Paula Creamer in this fashion (I didn't crop the images) in order to shoot her sparkly belt and lucky horseshoe belt buckle. But I'm thinking maybe he had some other curves in mind.

Ontological Question

2010-07-25T07:28:00.003-07:00

If Gordon Brand Jr. and Gordon Brand Sr. aren't related, and Christy O'Connor Jr. and Christy O'Connor Sr. aren't related ... THEN WHO IS MY REAL FATHER?

Road Hole Bank Shots

2010-07-19T15:00:00.000-07:00

Miguel Angel Jimenez's bank shot off the Road Hole wall and back onto the green during the 2010 British Open will be replayed forever. But it's not the first time that shot has been pulled off during the Open Championship. And you don't even have to be particularly good to do it yourself. You just have to be lucky.

Here are two clips of St. Andrews tourists doing the same thing:

Tiger Woods Accepts His ESPY

2010-07-19T14:36:00.001-07:00

OK, it's actually Will Ferrell, at the 2008 ESPY Awards. But you know this is what Tiger would have wanted to say. Assuming he could be pried off whatever blonde he was banging backstage.

Eyes on the Prize

2010-07-07T13:40:00.001-07:00

Here's a photo Paula Creamer posted on Twitter. Herself with Arnold Palmer, Cristie Kerr and Jerome Bettis.

Hmmmm, what's Arnie looking at? I can think of two things.

Belly Button Brigade: Ji Young Oh

2010-07-07T13:38:00.000-07:00

And now we pause for a little navel gazing ...

Two Thoughts on Big Break Sandals Resorts

2010-07-05T18:29:00.000-07:00

1. Please, please stop saying "go big or go home." I'll even take "it is what it is" before "go big or go home." Or how about this: If you say "go big or go home," you should GO HOME.

2. Is Carling Coffing this damn annoying in real life?

Is It Cold Out There, Or Are You Just Thinking About Tiger?

2010-06-27T18:00:00.001-07:00

Via TMZ, here's the Tiger Woods mistress who started it all, Rachel Uchitel, playing golf. Or attempting to play golf. Or trying to look like she's trying to play golf. Or something like that*.

Who plays golf braless? Other than guys, I mean. Hey, Rachel, you really don't want those puppies bouncing around during your backswing. Get those girls some support.

*On second thought, maybe she's just demonstrating Tiger's favorite position.

The Prick Pairing at the US Open

2010-06-12T07:54:00.000-07:00

We have this post labeled with "golf urban legends," but this is one legend that's true. There really is a "Prick Pairing" at the U.S. Open. Or at least there was the last time any USGA official was willing to go on the record to confirm its existence.

What is the U.S. Open Prick Pairing? It's the the group of golfers the includes three ... well ... pricks. A-holes. Jerks. Or at least, three golfers who are regarded as prickly in some way, if not outright pricks.

John Feinstein wrote about the U.S. Open Prick Pairing in his book The Majors: In Pursuit of Golf's Holy Grail, getting David Fay to fess up to its existence, a USGA "tradition" started by Frank Hannigan.

From Feinstein:

"(Fay) had not, however, given up on one of Hannigan's more hallowed traditions: the prick pairing. Hannigan swears he did not give the pairing its name, but he admits that each year he would put three players together he didn't like or who were generally disliked in the golf world. Insiders loved guessing the prick pairing each year, although more often than not it wasn't that difficult."

Who is in the U.S. Open's prick pairing for 2010? Check out the pairings and then make your guesses in comments.

Gaynor Montgomerie - Monty's Woman Scorned

2010-06-06T08:30:00.000-07:00

Here are some Gaynor Montgomerie pictures. Gaynor is the wife of Colin Montgomerie, the wife who Monty just admitted cheating on.

Monty appeard in most of these pics with Gaylor, but I cropped him out. You're welcome.

The mystery isn't why Monty would cheat on his wife, it's why any woman would sleep with Mrs. Doubtfire.

No Panties, No Putt

2010-05-28T19:29:00.000-07:00

Here's a story from caddie J.J. James, as told in the book Caddie Confidential: Inside Stories from the Caddies of the PGA Tour:

We were on the 17th hole, par-3. Around that area there was always a lot of action near the green, fans betting and tons of chatter. On the slope of the green, directly at the end of Hal Sutton's sight line for the putt was a young lady wearing a mini-skirt. She was sitting cross-legged, and wouldn't you know it, wearing absolutely nothing under her skirt.

The other caddie, (other) pro and I all went over to "help" Hal line up his putt. He had no idea why we were all standing behind him. "Look up, Hal," I said. "Oh my God," he replied, "I've got no chance of making this putt." He was right. He 3-putted.

Spanky McGolfpro

2010-05-25T09:39:00.000-07:00

This is a magazine ad for the United States Golf Academy:

I just want to say to the golf pro in the photo: I know it can be frustrating when a student keeps messing up what you're trying to teach them. But dude, c'mon, you don't have to spank her!

Briny Baird's Rooftop Shot Into the Ballpark

2010-05-24T12:07:00.000-07:00

This year, PGA Tour golfer Briny Baird will attempt to hit a bull's-eye floating in a river from a hotel rooftop. It's a fund-raiser for military families. If Baird does it, P.F. Chang's will give everyone in America who wants one a free order of lettuce wraps.

The video is from 2009, when Baird hit from a rooftop onto a target in the baseball stadium in San Diego.

Don't You Wish ...

2010-05-15T13:00:00.000-07:00

... every LPGA player wore tight, near-sheer tops like this one in tournaments? Or at least, every cute LPGA player. This is Brandi Jackson at the Tres Marias Championship in Mexico. Image found on some dude's Facebook page. Said dude cropped out. You're welcome.

Booty Patrol: Se Ri Pak

2010-05-14T13:57:00.000-07:00

If you're like me, and you like a little junk in the trunk, then Se Ri Pak might be one of your faves, too. Awwwwwww yeah, fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round.

Hank Haney's Wife

2010-05-11T05:42:00.000-07:00

So Hank Haney has quit as Tiger Woods' coach. And I say good for Hank - get out on your own terms. Hank posted a note on his website in which he said a lot of things about leaving Tiger, but did not say, "and I'd like to spend more time with my wife."

That's the catch-all excuse whenever controversial figures quit a post - "and I'd like to spend more time with my (wife/family/children)." And this is the one time anyone would actually believe it's true - and Hank didn't say it!

Hank Haney's wife is Suzanne Rogers Haney. I know nothing about her except that she's hot. They got married in November 2009 in Los Cabos, Mexico. Tim Rosaforte wrote around that time that they were introduced by Charles Barkley during the taping of the first Hank Haney Project for the Golf Channel. They were introduced on Dec. 30, 2008, and December 30 just happens to be ... Tiger Woods' birthday. Isn't life just full of coincidences?

I do know this: Hank and Suzanne were registered at Crate and Barrel. And there are still two wedding gifts in their registry that nobody bought for them: The cookbook Easy Desserts, and a "rustic leaf hurricane" candle stand under a glass shade. Hurry, here's your chance to get in good with Hank and the missus!

(Update: A couple more pics here)

Tiger Woods Neck Jokes

2010-05-10T06:26:00.000-07:00

Tiger Woods pulled out ... wait, let me rephrase. Tiger Woods' bulging ... wait, let me rephrase. Tiger Woods has a stiff ... wait, let me rephrase.

Heard any good Tiger Woods neck jokes? Add yours in comments. Here's a few quips pulled out Twitter:

Tiger Woods withdrew from a golf tournament due to a neck injury. I bet he could sure use a Swedish massage.

Tiger Woods pulled out of The Players Championship yesterday due to neck pain. It was due to an old mistress injury.

Tiger Woods quits tournament during final round, blames sore neck from having to grow new integrity-based spine.

Tiger Woods says he's relieved to have a stiff neck for a change.

Jesper Promises Not to Attack Tiger with Golf Club

2010-05-01T14:31:00.000-07:00

Well, here's some good news for Tiger Woods: Jesper Parnevik, the golfer who introduced Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, says that when he next runs into Tiger at a PGA Tour event "I won't hit him with a golf club."

Parnevik told the Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet that while Elin continues to visit the Parnevik household, "Tiger is not welcome here any longer." But at least he's promised not to whack Tiger upside the head with a club.

Which, come to think of it, isn't the worst thing Jesper could do to Tiger. I think Jesper should promise at least two more things:

1. I won't "accidentally" call Tiger "Phil" when we pass in the clubhouse.
2. If he does show up at our house, I won't serve him lutefisk.

If You Smell-El-El-El What Tiger is Cooking

2010-04-17T13:36:00.001-07:00

Tiger Woods and professional wresting? Don't write it off. Once a professional athlete turns skankmeister, he often also turns to rasslin'. The two kind of go together.

Not that that's a bad thing!

According to the UK website Golf Online, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) is trying to get Tiger to guest host the June 7 broadcast of Raw, one of the WWE's weekly television franchises.

GolfOnline.co.uk cites no sources whatsoever for its report. I put the odds of Tiger Woods hosting a WWE broadcast at about the same as Jesper Parnevik hosting "Tiger Woods Appreciation Day." Which is to say, nil.

Still, it's fun to think about. Somebody needs to work some Photoshop magic and send me an image of Tiger bodyslamming Phil Mickelson.

Amy Mickelson Michael Jordan Affair

2010-04-15T16:07:00.000-07:00

The Amy Mickelson-Michael Jordan affair rumor. You've heard it, right? It's been all the buzz since Phil Mickelson won The Masters.

Amy is Phil's wife, of course. Michael Jordan is a good friend of Phil's main rival, Tiger Woods. I understand Mr. Jordan also played basketball, but can't really speak to that. I focus entirely on golf, you see. And unfounded, crazy rumors.

Put the Amy Mickelson-Michael Jordan affair rumor in the "you've got to be kidding" file. There's not a hint of a scintella of evidence - evidence! what a concept! - of any Amy Mickelson-Michael Jordan affair.

There's barely any evidence of an Amy Mickelson-Phil Mickelson affair. I mean, the only reason we know they have sex is that they have three kids. Otherwise, they're just too sweet and sunshiney to engage in such dirty behavior, right?

So write it off: There was no Amy Mickelson-Michael Jordan affair. Amy never fooled around with MJ. In fact, she never fooled around with a lot of guys. At least 10 others.

Top 10 Men Amy Mickelson Has Not Had an Affair With
10. Bill Clinton
9. Tim "Lumpy" Herron
8. Me
7. David Letterman
6. Colin Farrell
5. Charles Barkley
4. Lady GaGa
3. Earl Woods
2. John Daly
1. Tiger Woods

Michelle Wie Bikini Pics

2010-04-13T13:47:00.000-07:00

Michelle Wie bikini pics - you want 'em, we got 'em. Well, OK, actually RadarOnline.com has them - but we stole them! And no, we don't feel bad about it, since they stole them from somewhere to begin with (most likely Wie's Facebook page, Christina Kim's Facebook page, etc.).

We're also republishing a previous Michelle Wie bikini pics that C-Kim posted to Twitter before someone told C-Kim to stop posting sexy pics to Twitter (and a pox on the house of the person who told her to stop).

Booty Patrol: Morgan in White

2010-04-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

I applaud the photographer for requesting the lovely Morgan Pressel pose in this manner. But I do have one request: If there's a next time, use a darker background.

Vijay's Pond-Skipping Ace at The Masters

2010-04-07T06:49:00.000-07:00

Pond-skipping is a tradition during Masters practice rounds at the 16th hole. One year, Vijay Singh skipped a ball across the pond, and the result was ... pretty good.

Natalie Gulbis Pelvic Tilt

2010-03-27T07:04:00.001-07:00

A video that has "Natalie Gulbis" and "pelvic tilt" together? Yeah, I'll watch that.

Barbie Needs a Cheeseburger

2010-03-08T13:58:00.000-08:00

According to LPGA.com, "This year, as part of the Barbie® brand's I Can Be... campaign, Barbie® is empowering girls to dream it all, try it all and live it all."

The only thing this Barbie will inspire girls to is anorexia.

Compare Barbie to the LPGA golfer with which "Barbie® has forged a partnership," Brittany Lincicome. Do a Google Images search on Lincicome and you'll find a big-boned gal, and I mean that in the best sense. Lincicome is tall, curvy and gorgeous. She's a real woman, not a skin-and-bones, legs-up-to-here, mini-skirt wearing false idol.

Young girls deserve to be inspired to run and play outdoors, to read and do math and explore science indoors. Not to spend hours adjusting makeup, or in the bathroom purging.